For the record, my wife Danielle is not a United States senator, and she did not have the benefit of briefings by the Intelligence Committee, but somehow, back in December, she had the foresight to order a Peloton bike. Needless to say, this thing is coming in handy during these quarantine days.
After she worked out on it for a week, the way Danielle spoke about the Peloton — can only be described as religious devotion. It took me weeks to start using it after we got it. I’m slow to sign up with new religions. The creed I follow was essentially chosen for me at birth: water poured over my head, the navy blue suit, some incense and pizza on Fridays, you get the idea. So I was skeptical when I listened to her working out on the Peloton and raving to me about its benefits. Usually, you encounter sales pitches like this only when you answer the door on a Saturday and some nice people want to hand you pamphlets.
Anyways, I finally succumbed and started working out on the bike. Imagine your toughest gym teacher from high school married Tony Robbins, and they had a kid with a “man-bun” who worked out over 7 hours a day and spent the rest of the time studying self-help books and writing down quotes to lay down while he coaches you through a ride — that’s what a Peloton ride is like.
Here’s an idea of what a workout looks like:
I’m glad I finally succumbed to Danielle’s appeals to try it because during this quarantine it has been invaluable. I’ve seen a lot of people running, they say running is experiencing a huge renaissance during the COVID-19 crisis. It’s a perfect social distance sport. But I stopped running recently, I was getting “cease and desist” letters from the legal firm representing my hips, and love letters from my orthopedist, so I basically had to stop. The Peloton is definitely an answer, I’m not exactly sure what the question is, but it’s an answer. After I work out for a half-hour, I am basically a puddle, see photo below:
Here are some quotes I remember from Peloton coaches (forgive me but I’m too sweaty during the rides to hold a pen):
We didn’t come here to get comfortable, we came here to get stronger
Nobody ever hated themselves into getting better; we get better by loving ourselves
Your goals are like fish, you can get them on the hook, but you have to reel them in.
Practice doesn’t make perfect; practice makes permanent.
Don, make sure you wipe down the bike (that one was my wife…I’m kinda gross).
It’s your high school physical education class, if you only had to take PE once a semester for 45 minutes and it counted towards your GPA. The coaches are so inspirational and sincerely insistent that I not give up. Danielle and the rest of our nuclear family and I have pretty much had it with each other at this point, and they’re the only human contact I’ve had in 12 days. I’m not sure if my immediate family believes in me anymore, but I know that Ally Love does.
I’m not going door to door with pamphlets, but I’m going to stick with it. What are you guys doing for exercise during this time? You’ve got to do it. Maybe you don’t have to get as messy as me, but you gotta keep moving, for your mind as much as your body. Share your sweaty pics (just stay 6 feet away).
You must be logged in to post a comment.