When I was a kid, my dad taught me how to “score” baseball games using a scorecard you would buy when you entered the stadium. The fact that the scorecards at Yankee Stadium came with a free pencil (at Shea it was an extra ten cents) was one of the reasons I became a Yankee fan. For the record, I still know how to score an infield pop-up with a man on first, “FC” (fielders choice). It was only years later that I learned that my dad wanted me to score the game so that I would remain in my seat and stay focused on the game instead of wandering off in search of the bathroom and snacks. The thing is, for the same reasons, I need a scorecard for the quarantine. Lacking that, I’m going to offer some random thoughts:  

A colleague remarked the other day, “I don’t think I know how to work buttons or zippers anymore. Is this the end of business attire?”  Every day I put on a tie. I take it off immediately and put on a tee-shirt.  I just want to keep in practice.

When this is over, I hope I never again have to hear the expression,  “Out of an abundance of caution.”  

Is somebody going to talk about gender differences during “remote school”?  My wife Danielle and I have leadership roles in the education field. I have, at times, literally rolled out of bed and into Google Hangouts. My first job in the morning is to locate a Jericho sweatshirt or a T-shirt to wear during the morning announcements with Chad.  For Danielle, it’s hair and all the other things. I try to tell her she’s just as beautiful in an East Williston T-shirt, no blow-drying unnecessary. But she punches me in the arm really hard. Of course, the “Donald Gately Home Haircut System” is working really well for me.

The husband of one of our friends at work owns an auto collision shop. Another casualty of the quarantine. Less driving, fewer fender-benders. We joked that the only business she gets nowadays is teachers who rear-end each other during Honk and Wave Parades.

There are never NOT hand towels on the floor of our bathroom. Was it like this before the quarantine? My wife and I were talking about it. Do our kids pitch the towels onto the floor in anger? What are they so furious about? It’s a bathroom. There’s nothing to provoke them. Or, do they wash their hands then drop the towel like Michael Corleone did the gun after he used it on that policeman in the Italian restaurant in Godfather I. Do they want NO civilians to see them drying their hands? There are no witnesses, it’s a bathroom.

I understand that everyone has more time to tidy up their homes. In my house, what seems to occur is spontaneous “random acts of cleaning”. Vacuums, dust rags, closets emptied, bags carried out to the curb… Was this on the schedule? I never really know when these are going to happen but I keep a  dust rag in my pocket just in case, because if I look like I’m not pulling my weight, bad things are going to happen. We’re stuck in here, I’ve got no choice but to go along.

I have so many random thoughts, there’s mostly “randomness’ now… but I know you need to wash your hands so I’ll leave it at that.  

Miss you so much.  Stay healthy.  Stay sane.  Stay 6 feet away from me. Please.